San Fran-suck-O Radio

As an avid sports fan, I've been listening to sports radio for about 10 years now. It started with driving back and forth from work and now I will actually stream some stations on the internet from time to time. I really enjoy the debate that ensues during a program and also the potential strategies that teams "should" be enacting.... although I have my own opinions.

I guess I didn't realize how good I had it back east. There are 2 different stations back in NY, so at least I had a choice of whom I wanted to listen to. It got to the point where it was very easy to determine who I liked, who I didn't but appreciated their knowledge, and those that were full of sh!t and couldn't respect. Well here in the Bay Area, I'm limited to 1050 KNBR, an ESPN affiliate. I truly have the displeasure of listening to Jim Rome, who may be the most pompous arrogant sports personality in the world, I'm pretty sure he thinks he's G-d's gift to radio.

However, Rome is the least of KNBR's problems (well at least in my opinion, we'll get back to him another day). Their afternoon drive show is dubbed "The Razor and Mr. T". Now when you first hear the name, it sounds impressive. Like 2 guys who know their sh!t, tell it like it is, and may engage in some heated discussions. Well that show is like the Wizard of Oz, tough sounding but when you pull back the curtain, is just some shrilled up old man.

"Mr. T" envokes the thought of.... well, Mr. T... from the A-Team, Rocky III, and I Pity the Fool. A true bad-ass who'll knock your block off. Well, not so much here. "Mr. T" is Tom Tolbert, a journey-man back-up player in the NBA that appears to be pretty even keel. Now I don't mind Tolbert at all, seems like talking to the guy in the cubicle next to you, but I don't think he truly deserves the moniker "Mr. T", unless he can show a little mean streak in there every now and then.

Then there's the "Razor" and this is what peaves me. With a name like "Razor", you'd hope to have someone who's sharp and has an authoritative positioning. Not at all here. This dude Ralph Barbieri (as if the name Ralph shouldn't be a hint already), has a raspy voice that makes him sound like an old nebbishy neurotic nerd. Better yet, he sounds like Mort Goldman from Family Guy. For those unfamilar with the character, here's a link to describe the guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXpKNTBmpJ4

Now, does this sound like a guy you want to engage in a manly-sports dominated debate? Hell No!!! Here's a guy I'd love say my peace to, give an atomic wedgie, and flush his head down a toilet. Everytime this guys says something on the radio, I can't help but get frustrated, even if I agree with him. I can't stand this guy's voice. He kisses up to his interviewees, says how everything is fine and dandy, and is the eternal optimist who doesn't see reality.

Trivia Question: Who did the Miami Dolphins bypass in the 2007 draft to select WR Ted Ginn Jr. in a move that stunned NFL fans across the country?

If you're not an avid sports fan, I wouldn't expect you to know this. But if your JOB is to know everything possible about sports, you damn well better have the right answer. If you poll all the sports radio personalities in the country, 99.5% will know that it was Brady Quinn. Quinn was one of the most hyped quarterbacks coming out of Notre Dame, a Heisman candidate who was all over the media for 2 years. The Dolphins had a desperate need for a QB, and it was thought to be a forgone conclusion that they would take Quinn. Instead they bypassed and took Ginn (who hasn't amounted to anything yet) and Quinn free-falled from the #9 pick to #22.... marking about 3 hours he sat, waited, and nearly cried after being passed over and forgoing millions of dollars in the process. It was THE STORY of the draft.

This past Friday, while talking about the bust that is Ginn, Barbieri commented that Dolphins shocked everyone by selecting him, but didn't remember who it was. And there was dead time on the air... he clearly thought about it and couldn't figure it out. They never came back to it, hiding that they had a less than knowledgeable host. Is it the worst thing in the world, in isolation, no.... But it was the last straw for me, I can't listen to this dweeb talk about sports and not know what he is talking about. If you're going to sound like a nerd, you better talk the talk.

Per his wikipedia profile, the dude is a vegetarian. It might as well read "tree-hugger"(not insuating that all veggies are tree-huggers, just this guy). So Ralph, while you're wearing your tie-die shirts, eating tofurkey, sipping on organic lemonade and shriveling at the thought of getting laid out like Anquan Boldin, I'll be home eating my rare t-bone steak, drinking beer in my boxers and watching Ray Lewis knock out punks like you.

Now be a man, lose the wimpy voice, stand up for your thoughts, get tough, and know you sh!t.